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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in hopeless_lady's LiveJournal:

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Monday, August 30th, 2004
6:34 pm
Monday, August 9th, 2004
2:20 pm
For the record:

You all can have fun in Boy-Girl Switcheroo land. That's cool.

I hate it. I hate this. I thought being myself was bad, but it's ten thousand times worse as a boy than it was as a girl, because at least as a girl I knew the rules and the consequences for breaking them. I don't know how to be a boy and when you're my age, people judge. And I could be happily oblivious if I'd gone from boy to girl, but going from girl to boy has only proven that I don't have it the worst ever as a girl. That's assuming I will ever be a girl again. If this stays, I don't know what I'm going to do

Don't even tell me how worse it could be and to stop whining, and to look on the bright side and find the silver lining. Shut the FUCK up if you're even thinking about posting that to me right now. I hate being a boy. Peeing standing up loses its charm the first time you miss. I'm constantly hungry, Miles looks like my sister and it freaks me out, the boys at school beat me up because I can't help being femme-y, and this just makes every feeling that much more confusing. , Maybe it's fun if you're an adventurous adult who can be all 'ooh, sexual hijinks'; I don't begrudge you your fun, but YOU shut the fuck up if you're trying to tell me I have to find the good in this.

This is not good. There are worse things in the world, I'm sure, but how DARE you claim that this shouldn't make someone genuinely miserable? What gives you the right to declare what's a real cause for upset and what isn't?

This happened against my will, I didn't ask for this. FUCK YOU.
Thursday, July 1st, 2004
4:26 pm
Thursday, June 24th, 2004
6:37 pm
Jimmy, Alais, Melitha, Rachel, Heddy -- all the Timeheart people. Itza. Miss Vartan?

I am so sorry for your loss. I didn't know Mr. Patrakis well, but I do understand what this kind of loss is like. I hope you're all OK and if you need anything -- well, I can't do much but be sorry and try to help, but I can do that.

Words are stupid. You can call me and Jan, though, if we can help.
Monday, June 21st, 2004
2:58 pm
House Dougal has approved the beginning of my journeyman exemplar!

And Jan's gonna take me to Hot Topic tonight so that I can get more scary-girl clothes. I look...weird. But kind of good. I'm liking the goth thing so far.
Sunday, June 6th, 2004
11:07 am
Closing in on my journeyman project at last. Being turned older is apparently good for something.

Maybe I'll be considered more than a childling sometime in the future after all.
Thursday, June 3rd, 2004
1:57 am
You know, I'm not sure if I should be insulted or complimented that people are so shocked that I am a) pretty when older, and b) capable of substituting for Jan in an emergency.

I just dunno.

I'm already second-guessing my leadership today. If you can even call it that. And this is not a woeful call to blow sunshine up my ass, just a statement of fact. I'm not really doing it because I want to, and I really thought we were supposed to want to. I'm doing it because I have to, and we need someone to have the nice brave authoritative face.


If I stay this way, Jan's in real trouble. I'm in real trouble.

I can't do anything else, and so I'm doing it because otherwise that's going to hit me.

I dunno, I dunno.

I just hope I'm good enough. For everybody's sakes, mine included.

Current Mood: anxious
Wednesday, June 2nd, 2004
11:09 am



And Jan keeps LAUGHING. And sniffling. Because she thinks it's just the drugs, but it's NOT the drugs, I NEED A BRA and I don't HAVE ONE.

I can't go to school like this!

If you need me I'm going to be hiding in the gully, wearing one of Jan's dresses that doesn't even FIT.
Monday, May 24th, 2004
12:30 pm
12:40 am
Spoiler-spec comes tomorrow, but.
To: alt.dreaming.electric-knights.s
From: i_am_hopeless (hopeless@snelling.com)
Subject: Call for spec submissions

Just a quick note: I would really love more spoilers and spec for the upcoming episodes of Electric Knights. As most of you know, in addition to maintaining the FAQ, I run the biweekly spec-and-spoiler rundown, and I'm running a bit low on the valid speculation line of the spectrum. If anybody's got a projection for the rest of the season, or a bit of logical conjecture based on some existing spoilers, could you send them my way? I'll happily give credit, if requested, in the Hopeless Spoiler Whore Report.

H. M. ap Dougal

(OOC: @mail Hope, or reply here.)

Current Mood: working
Wednesday, May 19th, 2004
10:02 am
Due to monsters and college and Samhain, the EK Ficathon's due dates will be extended to (OOC: May 30th.).

It's just saner for everyone.

Now taking suggestions for the next EK ficathon, too.
Wednesday, May 12th, 2004
2:27 pm
No one should be surprised that:

You are MARIE! Yay, science! Yay, exploding things!
What's with the red markings, though? You enjoy
tinkering, things that explode, and lawnmowers
that chew through concrete.

Which Electric Knights Character Are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Tuesday, May 11th, 2004
6:02 pm
Tuesday, May 4th, 2004
1:22 am
It made me put my gun to Jan's head and nearly pull the trigger.

There's a phrase from the movies I'm going to use.

That bitch is going down.

Jan says only the kids can kill it? Fine. It's time to kill it once and for all. "Time to die", you bet, you freak of the Dreaming.


Current Mood: pissed off
Saturday, May 1st, 2004
3:55 pm
Auction win.
I got dollhouses. And Jan and I got a trunk of Daddy's things.

Oh, Dad, I miss you so much. So much all the time. I wish you could know that, I wish you were here. It's a trunk full of everything about you and Momma, but it's not you.

Never can be you. It's just not enough, but I love you so much that you tried.
Wednesday, April 28th, 2004
3:00 pm
The internet and definitions are my friend.
Now they can be your friend, too.

Slander is specifically three things: a defamatory statement in a transitory public form that damages the reputation of another.

Defamatory? Big word. What is defamation?

Defamation is an attack on the good reputation of a person or collective entity. Speech that involves any public figure is only defamatory if it is false, said with actual malice, and -- most importantly -- if it is FACTUAL rather than an expression of that person's opinion.

How to distinguish, then, Hopeless?

If people say "Hope McKinley sucks, she's dorky and crippled and dresses funny", that's not slander; those are opinions, purely subjective, or harsh statements of fact.

If I say privately to Jan, "Thistle is a scary obsessed guy and I think he's stalking Bunny Batzri" in the course of conversation, even if that is false, it still may not be slander if it does not damage Thistle's reputation, or if I said it out of other reasons than pure spite,

If I say publically "Jan O'Leary is an oppressive bitch who spits on the commoners" and this is actively spread by me as more than my opinion and is believed, Jan has a case for slander. In this case, my statement of Jan's actions can be proven true or false; it's not just my beliefs about her character, but an actual statement about who Jan is. Even in this case, malice or reckless disregard has to be proven -- malice in this case meaning that the defendant knows that the statement was false or said it with disregard for its truth or falsity. If I have false evidence of Jan's oppression and cannot possibly know that my speech is false, it is not slander, but if I could have reasonably doublechecked, it might be. It is far harder to have a valid case where the slander is spoken in quiet forums about public individuals such as the nobility than in cases where the slander is spoken widely in public about a private figure. If I say this statement about Jan in front of two people whom I trusted and one of them calls it slander, it is harder to prove legally than if I shout it at open court in front of all Eildon.

Insults and offensive speech are not slander. Name-calling, hyperbole, exaggeration and heated words are not slander; you can still call someone a doodyhead without being punished for saying unproven falsities about the doody-ness of someone's cranium. So long as the person spoken about is not being intentionally injured by the speaker and so long as the statements are the opinion of the speaker rather than provable facts, it's just NOT SLANDER.

We have recourses for slander in our society. If you defame someone, like any other legal issue, you can do something about it.

Depending on the land you're in, you may or may NOT have recourses for insults; some lands are liberal about allowing people to speak their mind and enjoy a certain measure of free speech. It is slanderous itself to make a false claim of slander, however; this is why people need to be careful in their terminology.

You can stand in Blackberries and call people horrible names and express your disdain. And if someone challenges someone else to a duel for it, I, as its ruler, really don't have to sanction that duel if I legally recognize the rights of people in Blackberries to speak freely so long as they commit no slander and tell no lies.

You can always take it to lands where it is a crime, though. There are always ways to get your satisfaction. But just because you CAN do these things doesn't mean you SHOULD.
Tuesday, April 27th, 2004
4:05 am
Everything in my vision is drowned and aching.

I was moments, minutes too late. I couldn't have stopped it, but I should have stopped it.

It should have been me.
Thursday, April 22nd, 2004
2:21 am





I'm going to have a heart attack and I'm only twelve.

Current Mood: ecstatic
Wednesday, April 14th, 2004
12:31 pm
They have Griffin. And there's absolutely nothing I can think of to do that can make it better.

Jan's ordered me to research, but at this point, between this and what Alais said and...everything, I just feel useless.

Current Mood: scared
Sunday, April 11th, 2004
11:48 pm
I don't want to be upset, but I am. I was going to quest and I was going to find a way to make it work and it would have made Emmy so happy except I can't do it now, and at least Ryan is a wonderful person but...but...

It wasn't meant to be. So I just have to swallow my disappointment and move on.

I wonder if I'm always going to be too late?

Current Mood: crushed
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